After
by elfluvr
Summary: COMPLETE It had been almost a year since a night in Roosevelt Park had left him with no appetite for other women. Follows 'Gamesmanship' or 'The Hard Way.' Works with either. BA ship.
1. Chapter 1

Title: **After**

Author: elfluvr

Summary: It had been almost a year since a night in Roosevelt Park had left him with no appetite for other women. Follows "Gamesmanship."

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Dick Wolf, René Balcer and the actors who bring them to life. The locations (and the cab driver) belong to New York City. No harm intended, no money made.

Archive: Fanfiction - anywhere else, just ask

Feedback: Please! It's always welcome

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Chapter 1 – **After**

"Eames. Look at this picture." He turned the yearbook upside down from his vantage point and handed it across the desks to his partner, Detective Alex Eames.

She studied the photo then gave him a questioning look. "His brother would have known."

Bobby Goren nodded his head. "He knew. He knew about Dennis' … attractions and he … he used it to set him up."

"But the same woman? I still can't believe …" Eames stopped talking and looked up past his shoulder. From the corner of his eye, Goren saw someone standing next to his chair and turned his head to see …

"Jenni!"

He stood up so fast his chair rolled and hit the desk behind him. "Wha-What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise you, Robert, and it looks like I succeeded." Her eyes darted to Eames and back before she gave him a slow smile. "I thought I'd liberate you long enough to have an enjoyable lunch." He heard the suggestiveness in her voice – he only hoped that Alex missed it.

"Ahh, Jenni …" Goren waved his hand toward his desk and his partner, "We're right in the middle of …"

Eames snapped the yearbook shut with a thud. "We're done here."

_Thanks a lot, Eames._ The two women eyed each other and he had no choice. "Uh … this is my partner, Alex Eames. Jenni Lorah."

"Pleased to meet you," Jenni said while resting her hand on his upper arm.

"Hello." Not good. That one word held the tone she reserved for particularly offensive suspects.

"Robert, I have a cab waiting. I thought we could just go to lunch at my place," again with a sultry voice.

"Go ahead, Robert. You two have fun." With that, Eames got up and headed toward the stairs. He could only assume she was looking for the fastest way out.

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On the short cab ride to Jenni's place, Bobby thought about how he needed to have a talk with her – tell her to slow down. Or maybe end it all together. She was getting way too serious, going from zero to sixty in no time flat.

He'd met her a little over a month ago while at the library researching the narcotic effects of some obscure plant he'd found in a suspect's apartment. She sat across the table from him and they exchanged courteous smiles of greeting before each turned back to their own reading material. Half an hour later he looked up to see her still there.

_Attractive_. Even seated she appeared to be tall, with long brunette hair and a full figure. Totally different from …

"I'm sorry," she caught him staring. "Do I remind you of someone?"

"Uh, no. I'm the one who should apologize. I shouldn't be staring."

"That's okay," she smiled. "I've had the advantage of staring at you for the last half hour while you were engrossed in your book."

And that was how it started. By the second date he knew he wanted to sleep with her – by the third date he did.

Not his usual style. But it had been almost a year since a night in Roosevelt Park had left him with no appetite for other women, and it had actually been a few months before that since he'd been with anyone.

He probably had only himself to blame for her … zeal. There was a reason he usually resisted getting too physical too soon. But even so, she was getting uncomfortably attached. She'd taken to calling him at least once a day. There were times he saw her number on the display and let it roll to voice mail. When that happened, she'd continue calling throughout the day until he either picked up or returned her call.

The final indication that something needed to change came the night before last. He'd managed to get home at a decent hour, changed into sweats and a tee-shirt, and opened a beer. Planning to settle in with some reading and music, he was surprised by a knock at his door. Jenni had talked her way past the doorman – the guy would definitely hear about that – and showed up with microwave popcorn and a DVD in hand.

His initial annoyance gave way to some optimism. Maybe this would be a good thing … something sort of homey and normal. They could watch a movie (_How'd she manage to get one of his favorites?_), talk … find out how much they really had in common. But somehow the popcorn never got eaten and they never saw the end of the movie.

And then came his biggest mistake of all – he let her stay the night. Well, actually, it would have been boorish of him to ask her to leave, again not his style. The real mistake was having sex with her at his apartment in the first place. Before this, they'd always been at her place or, uh … elsewhere. Situations where, after an appropriate amount of time, he could use the excuse of work to leave her at her place and sleep alone in his own bed.

The next morning, she left at dawn so he could get ready for work. It was during that process that he realized just how big a mistake he'd made. He opened his medicine cabinet to find that she'd left a toothbrush and other personal items behind – she was moving in.

And now today … showing up unannounced at his work and creating the totally uncomfortable situation of Eames knowing about her.

Not wanting to discuss this in the squad room and not wanting the cab driver to overhear, he waited until they were in her apartment with the door closed. Lunch never got eaten, and the conversation never happened.

Jenni was persistent and … skilled. She knew how to use her skills to get what she wanted from his body. It was a quick physical release, totally devoid of any true satisfaction for his body or soul. He left immediately after, using the worn-out excuse of work. She didn't seem to mind.

In the cab on the way back to One PP, Bobby realized that, for him, it never was anything more than physical. He also realized that was the last time he would have sex with her. He would end it in the next couple of days – amicably, he hoped.

As he turned the corner from the elevators on the eleventh floor, he saw Eames sitting at her desk talking on the phone. She didn't so much as glance at him when he sat down across from her – not even when she hung up the phone and started tapping away on her laptop.

"Eames …" he began, but really didn't know what else to say. He just needed her to look at him.

Alex got up from her chair and Bobby thought she was walking out on him. Instead she came to his side of the desks, reached into his bottom drawer and pulled out the small bottle she knew he kept there. Placing it squarely in front of him on the desk, she leaned down and spoke in a low voice so only he would hear. "You smell of her."

Then she walked out on him, leaving him staring at his bottle of cologne.

_TBC …_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – **After**

Alex didn't know who she was angrier with, Bobby or herself.

After she left him with Jenni, Alex tried to walk off her feelings of anger … disappointment … jealousy. She had actually talked herself into believing she could handle the fact that he was dating again. She'd even accepted that just because this was the first one she knew of, that didn't mean he'd been celibate all these months. After all, she had broken out of her cloister a few months ago, even if it was a short-lived relationship.

They had to move on if they were going to live with their decision.

But when he'd walked back in after lunch, at first she just wanted to cry. Then she smelled that other woman's perfume and … well, she could tell Jenni had gotten what she wanted for lunch. It still was no reason for her behavior. Bobby deserved better than that and she knew it.

Alex was sitting in her living room illuminated only by the soft glow of the corner street light filtering in her window. When she'd poured her second glass of wine, she decided to stop getting up to go to the kitchen. The bottle now sat on the end table next to her rocking chair. With one leg tucked under her and the other extended so her foot could gently and rhythmically push off, Alex let her thoughts wander back to those memories – the ones she resolutely avoided because they ached too much.

Bobby's hands on her. His lips and tongue opening her for his exploration. His taste … and smell. The feel of him pressed to her body. No wonder she couldn't generate any excitement for dating.

She heard a soft knocking, so quiet she figured it was the neighbors' across the hall. Until she heard it again and realized it was at her door. So tempted to ignore it, she was reaching for the bottle to pour a third glass when the knocking became more insistent.

With a sigh, she got up, padded over to the door and looked out the peep hole. She really shouldn't have been so surprised to see him standing there, except for the fact that he hadn't been to her place in over a year.

Heart pounding, she opened the door just as he was about to knock again. They stood there for long moments just staring at each other.

"Hi, Bobby," she spoke first.

He lowered his fist and she saw him swallow nervously. "Can I come in?" he asked quietly.

She opened the door further to let him enter then saw him squinting into the gloam of her apartment. "Here, let me turn on a light," she stepped past him and twisted the knob on the end table lamp – a lighter, warmer glow filled the room.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Do you happen to have any scotch?"

"Actually, I do." Alex was relieved to walk away from the tension-filled living room into the kitchen to find the bottle of scotch that had last been opened over a year ago. She reached for a crystal glass on a shelf a little too high for her and noticed her hand was shaking. A much larger hand appeared over her head and grabbed the glass. Alex was glad she hadn't reached it because it would now be shattered on the floor.

Steeling herself, she turned to see his chest directly in her line of sight. Alex raised her eyes to where he loomed over her, so close.

"Still keep the scotch in the same place?"

She nodded.

His eyes held hers before he finally stepped away and walked to the cabinet to retrieve the bottle. Alex released the breath she'd been holding and willed her heart to slow. Leaving him to fix his own drink, she headed toward the living room and her glass of wine. Too nervous to sit, she fidgeted with the wine bottle and her glass until he stepped into the room.

He'd been home after work and changed into jeans and a soft, cream-colored sweater. Bobby looked so good – she became self-conscious of her own tank top, leggings and bare feet.

"Alex, I'm … I'm sorry you had to find out about Jenni that way," Bobby sat at the very edge of the couch, elbows on his knees and both hands holding his glass of scotch. "I … I never expected her to just … show up like that."

_Oh god … he wants to talk about it._ She eased herself back into the rocking chair. "No … Bobby. I had no right to act like that. I … I'm sorry. It's just … didn't you think letting me see you leave with her like that was a bad idea?"

"If you'll recall … I was looking for an excuse not to go with her. You're the one who said, 'We're through here.'"

"But a lunchtime quickie? And then coming back …" Alex stopped short of pointing out that he smelled of sex and gratification. "What were you thinking?"

"What was I thinking …" he stared into his scotch and gave a brief chuckle that sounded nothing like amusement. "I was thinking of you," his voice was husky with emotion and he looked back at her. "Every time I had sex with her, I was thinking of making love to you."

_Oh god oh god oh god. _Alex's heart was now in her throat and Bobby's eyes wouldn't release hers. Beneath the pain of what he'd just confessed was something more – a question she didn't understand until he voiced it.

"What does that make me?"

_Ah, Bobby. You hold yourself to higher standards than everyone else and hurt yourself too much in the process._

"Human, Bobby," she said softly. "It makes you human."

Bobby closed his eyes, hung his head and finally started to nurse his scotch.

All Alex wanted to do was run her hands through his hair, cradle his head against her and tell him everything was okay. Tell him she loved him and he would never again have to doubt that he was making love to the woman he was with – never again worry that it was just meaningless sex. Tell him that she would never do anything but make love to him in return.

"What are we doing, Bobby?"

"What we have to," he muttered to the scotch.

She felt her temper flare again at his apathy. "I'm trying to believe this isn't about punishing me."

His head snapped up. "God, Alex! You know better than that!"

Remorse immediately flooded her. "I'm sorry. You're right, I do. I just feel like… when it comes to us, I don't know anything anymore. I don't know what we're doing to ourselves, Bobby. And I don't know why we're doing it."

"You know why."

"No … I don't," Alex leaned forward in her chair. "Not anymore. Is this really better? Because I don't know about you, but not being with you isn't helping me to love you any less."

It was the first time either of them had admitted it out loud and her words hung in the air like thistle down in the haze of summer – fragile, so easily blown away if they let them. Neither moved. Neither spoke. The only sound was the hum of traffic on the street below combined with their breathing.

Bobby's hand came up to his mouth, his fingers wrapped in a familiar gesture. "What else can we do?" he said from behind his hand

Frustrated at his defeatist attitude, Alex couldn't just sit there. For the sake of something to do she picked up her glass and the wine bottle and headed into the kitchen. Placing them both on the counter, she closed her eyes and gripped the edge of the sink. She hoped he would take the hint and leave. She hoped he would take the hint and come to her.

Warm, strong arms slid around her waist and pulled her back against a soft sweater. This is what she loved most about Bobby – he always knew what she needed.

"Alex." She felt her name in her hair. Warm lips at her temple. Strong hands on her waist, turning her to face him. Alex started to say his name, but his mouth on hers muffled it into a soft moan. _Yes! This is everything she remembered it to be. _

Bobby groaned and his arms tightened around her. One hand slid beneath the fabric of her shirt – his palm warm on her ribs. He groaned again and suddenly she was lifted off her feet and he sat her on the kitchen counter.

Pulling away from their kiss, Bobby held her face in both hands and just looked at her. His eyes … his incredible, expressive, warm, dark eyes held hers in a visual caress. Alex almost thought she could just sit here like this and be happy for the rest of her life, except for the other parts of her body that wanted to connect with his.

"Eames … you drive me crazy."

She grinned and he rewarded her with that perfect smile of his that she loved so well. Alex wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck and pulled him to her for a long, lingering kiss. His lips were demanding – his tongue insistent on where it wanted to be and she had no desire to resist. One large hand smoothed up her back … spanning her neck, directing her. Bobby's other arm tightened around her waist, pulling her to the edge of the counter and against him. The same shiver of anticipation ran through her that she felt the first time he was pressed against her. Large hands …

"I know someplace more comfortable," she murmured against his lips.

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Waking out of the haze of sleep, Alex felt content … and sore in all the right places. His arm was draped over her waist. She could smell him … feel his warmth against her back … hear his breaths. Easing her eyes open, she turned her head to find him watching her. She gave him a sleepy smile. "How long have you been doing that?"

Bobby bent his head to kiss the tip of her nose before whispering in her ear, "Over five years."

_End_


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